The Da Vinci Code is TRUE!

Kidding!

Rob and I saw “The Da Vinci Code” in a packed matinee in La Jolla yesterday afternoon, and, well, it was pretty boring and pretty ridiculous and not very thrilling, and it was obvious. After about a half-hour, or maybe it was three hours, whatever would be a third of the way in, I said to Rob, [SPOILER ALERT!] “She’s the grail.” And then we had to wait another day or so before Landgon had his epiphany and tells Sophie. Lordy. Anyway, Ian McKellen is awesome, of course, and Audrey Tautou was lovely and appealing. (Somehow, I never saw “Amelie,” so this was my first Tautou, as it were.) Paul Bettany, as always, was brilliant. And freaky creepy. Tom Hanks was Tom Hanks, ya know, Everyman. I did like a lot of Ron Howard’s special effecty flourishes. The plot is pretty well-known by now, but after seeing it all put together I understood why the fundies, Catholic and Protestant, are obsessed with it: For the last few weeks, the religious kids at UCSD have had banners and tables and piles of leaflets and pamphlets all devoted to how the book isn’t true, because I guess the fact that it’s a novel doesn’t make that patently obvious. I also get why any Christian with an ability to think for him/herself is pretty amused by it. I was thinking about that for a couple hours last night, and then this morning, after seeing that the movie had made a gazillion dollars, I read the great Times piece–I love real-deal anthro journalism–on the phenom…which I have hypocritically posted after the jump.
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Some historical perspective on last night’s Debacle

I’ve decided to start referring to “Crash” winning best picture over “Brokeback Mountain” as “the Debacle.” Because I’m like that. I care wayyy too much. Anyway, there is a lot of historical precedent for the Debacle. I mean, besides institutionalized homophobia. Lots of bad movies have beaten lots of really good movies for Best Picture. But which is the worst movie to beat an awesome movie? Heh. So I made a poll. To the left. Have fun!

UPDATE:

The results:

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I hated “Crash”

I know y’all were waiting with bated breath for my column on “Crash,” which should have been posted three weeks ago. Well, it’s up. It’s a little better than I remember it being (and I was kinda worried about it because one of my professors wanted to read it) but it still needs some copy-editing. Well, beggers can’t be choosers. Anyhoo: I hated “Crash” and I’ll lose my shit if it wins Best Picture. (And I did.) One of the biggest problems the movie had is the scene from which this pic comes from. Some people seem to think this is where Matt Dillon’s character redeems himself–he may be a racist but he saved the black lady from a burning car! Um, whatever. He did his job. I’m sure he’s still a racist. And Thandie Newton is still traumatized from being sexually assaulted by Dillon in a previous scene. So: Whatev.

A wee quote:

In these movies, dramatic conflict almost always seems to revolve around racist monsters hurting good people, or good people suffering because of monstrous racism. The stories are nearly always appallingly violent; physically, socially and/or emotionally. There is usually one of two endings—either the racist loses and goodness prevails (A Time to Kill) or the conflicts in the story are resolved but the overall problem of racism is depicted as a shameful, endless system (Crash). Either way, I don’t need to see it.

So, please click and read and leave a comment. I’d like to know what everyone thinks about the movie.

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Brokeback

I wrote about “Brokeback Mountain” in my column this week. If you haven’t seen the movie, you must. It’s amazing and touching and all that the gays talk about nowadays. It seems like the heteros are talking about it, too. So, go. Yeah. And read my column, too–but after you’ve seen the movie. Here’s a taste:

There has never been a filmed gay love story directed by a major auteur, starring important actors, that was the favourite to win the Oscar for Best Picture. In fact, there has never been a filmed gay love story that could even be called good. When you have never seen your emotions depicted on screen other than as dirty or tangential or cause for a joke, anticipating something like Brokeback Mountain, in which your emotions are promised to be treated with respect and truth—well, that kind of anticipation is palpable. It can lead to countdowns on gay.com.

UPDATE:

I guess the column has struck a chord. The comments are many, and it’s #1 on the Maisonneuve website.

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Maybe it’s not the moon at all / I hear Spike Lee’s shooting down the street

So, I wrote a really long essay about “Rent” for Maisy this week. Here’s the pull quote:

The problems with the film Rent have nothing to do with the ages of the actors or director Chris Columbus’s lack of vision; they have to do with how the original show was written, how its history has been re-written, and how Rent was transformed from a little musical to a billion-dollar commodity.

I think I’m getting nerdier. I use words like “commodity.” Anyway, please read. Thanks!

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